Use My Voice

Speaking up about the issues I can't get out of my head or heart.

Stuff To Walk Through

on October 24, 2013

Yesterday I read a blog entry from one of my favorite authors Sarah Bessey. In which she declared she was no longer afraid. If you know me IRL or have read many of my post you will understand why I found this writing so powerful. It truly caused me to weep. I wanted to stand with Sarah and let our voices tremble together as we spoke what God was saying to us.

I was blessed as a young woman out of college to be hired as a children’s pastor in a United Methodist Church and had the pleasure to serve in three of them over the next 14 years and currently attend a fourth one. Early in these years someone gave me a copy of Ruth Tucker’s Women In The Maze With that one book all of my questions and doubts about women in leadership vanished. That and serving in a church and denomination that fully ordained women and recognized them as 100% equal with men in every way including their ability to lead. However, I will never forget there are women and girls who hear everyday that God will never call them to lead simply because they are female.

I reposted Sarah’s blog yesterday on Facebook. A friend of mine commented that Sarah and I obviously has some heavy stuff to walk through and how she was blessed to never have experienced anyone being bothered with her leading just because she was a woman. I responded to her that my point was not simply about women being left out of leadership but about how it feels to be a Christian who often finds herself on the opposite side of issues of most Believers.

As I was chatting with another friend about it last night she pointed out the the things that I am passionate are “heavy stuff to walk through” and she was right. I have spent years ( and still do) spend a lot of time trying to figure out the heart that God has given me. I struggle with how a church says all are welcome but make little jokes about groups not like them. I struggle greatly with the idea that as a Christian I am not suppose to want the government to help people. How as a Christian I am suppose to more concerned with my government keeping my homosexual friends from marrying than I am with people having healthcare. I struggle with huge thoughts that I really could be getting it all wrong. How could I see things one way when so many people I truly respect and that I know love Jesus see things so differently . That is one question that I don’t have an answer for. All I know is that for me the closer I walk with Jesus the more secure I feel in my beliefs.

As long as I am walking with Jesus on this earth I will be walking through this “heavy stuff”. As long as there is injustice and hurting and I feel that burning inside of me that I know comes from God I will be walking though it. Walking through this “heavy stuff” is precisely what Christ called me to do when he told me to take up my cross and follow him.


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