Use My Voice

Speaking up about the issues I can't get out of my head or heart.

Hurting Because of Church

on August 28, 2012

Sunday morning I woke up thinking I was going to church. We had not been in a couple of weeks and we really needed to go. I took a minute and checked out what was going on in the facebook world. It was then that I learned that a lot of people I care about were hurting.  They weren’t hurting because someone had died or because of a natural disaster. They were hurting because their church was falling apart. Fighting, politics, and power struggles were ripping  a place they loved apart at the seams. I wish I could say this was a surprise to me. I wish I was shocked and couldn’t believe that it was happening. However, I have spent the last 18 years in church ministry in some way or another. Nothing that happens at church shocks me anymore.  When I was 19 and serving at as a day camp counselor at a church in California I watched as a new pastor came in and wiped out the entire church staff on a Friday afternoon. That was my first lesson about how church life worked. You would think I would have learned there and run in the opposite direction but I knew God had called me to ministry.

I don’t want you to think I hate church because that is not the case. I have given most of my adult life up until this point serving in churches because I do believe in what The Church is suppose to be. I have watched as people have come together to feed the hungry, build homes for the homeless, and share the Good New of Jesus’ love. I have watched people give of themselves over and over again so that others would not go without. I have watched families changed and healed by what they have found in church. I know that The Church has great potential.

I also have watched as churches destroy people and families.The hurt that is caused by church or the people in a church is a hurt that goes down deep into who you are. It is a spiritual hurt. It is a hurt caused by a place where you opened yourself up and allowed people to see you hurts and struggles. It is a place where you gave so much of your self because you believed in what the church was doing. Recovering from that kind of hurt is hard.  It is really hard.  Every time you watch a church fall apart or fail someone you feel that same hurt all over again.

To my friends who are hurting and confused by church right now I remind you that there is a difference between a church and God.  God has not failed you (even though it might seem that way). He loves you.  He wants to comfort you and remind you that he is perfect even though so often his Church is not.  Take sometime to rest in him. You are loved.




One response to “Hurting Because of Church

  1. Kristy says:

    Amen Sister!

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